Love U little Brother Merry Chrismas  / TODD R. (BROTHER)
Sean.
 We let me start by saying i love u man and u know it,Merry Chrismas to you and Your Kids,As u know shits been kinda fucked up around here all this chit is alot to deal with i thank u for all the guidence and watching over me thank u man.No one really knows the problem same old u know how that chit is.But i am glad im here kickin it its been a while i think about u alot man and that will never change baby boy.I got to see my daughter last weeekend it was nice shes gtting so big man shes Beautiful bro i miss seeing her all the time but was glad i got to it felt pretty good.Im heading over to Tammys familys for a while tonite xmas eve just spent all nite in that shit hole again this is 3 days in the last 10 days and same shit well what can u do when your poor u get the screw in the ass story lol But im going to vist Momma and everyone Next weekend i hope if i stay ok "knock on wood" Do me a favor and watch over evyone and Momma over these holidays u know its rough on everyone with out u little brother we all loved u dearly and still do be our Angel and Merry xmas Bro.
                                                      Love u Man Forever Todd Close

Happy Birthday  / Dewayne &. Missy Osmon (Best friends )
Sean,
we just want to stop by and wish you a happy birthday. We know that you can hear all of us down here saying it to you. We all wish you where hear to be able to celebrate your 27th birthday. But we all know you are in heaven celebrating with Old man dave, Mike Pokela, your dad, and everyone else up there. We miss you greatly and talk about u all the time. These types of days are the hardest days to know that you are gone and not being to celebrate with you. We will light a candle tonight by your picture to say happy birthday again to you. we love you and miss you so much. We hope that you like Dewaynes tattoo he got in memory of you. its not quite finished yet still needs some touch ups and the dates on it. It is his pride and joy people have been complimenting it left and right. When asked what it means he proudly tells them about his best friend in the world that we lost to soon and how great of a person you where and how lucky we were to have such a best friend like you. It makes alot of people smile. I even smile every day when i look at that tattoo. It means alot to Dewayne.We wish that Marc could have done the tattoo but its just to hard for us to get down to where he lives.Wish he was closer to us.  It would have been alot more meaning ful to have your brother to do it.WE know that Marc would have put his heart and soul into doing the tattoo and it would ment alot Marc.  But it still means alot to me. I am getting mine done soon so i can tell people what great person you where and what the chicken stands for.
WE love you Sean and you will always be are best friends. And there will not be a day that goes by that we do not think of you. We love you , miss you, and wish you where here. Say hi to Pokela for us. But we are going to go now before i start to cry. 
LOve you Sean and you wil never be forgotten
love and miss you forever. your best friends.
Dewayne & Missy Close

IF I COULD CHANGE THE WORLD  / Todd R. (brother)
Well little brother its been a rough day but some how ive gotten threw another,Today and yesterday were very hard for me in many ways then one, but at the same time they tought me alot  to, i believe,I had many flash backs to the day u left us a year ago and it just seemed so clear i kept thinking about the nite befor u left us and i got many joyfull thoughts of the times i got to share with u the last 2 weeks of your life i got to share many laughs and be with u those days and i thank God every day for that.What really stands out to me so clearly and has tought me alot is ,YOU..and what kinda person deep down inside u really were I clearly remember the joy on your face when u got paid that nite and went to Kamart and got Cindy(Your Wife) Them shoes u walked in said Todd check out her new shoes,Then i remember looking at yours and thinking...Man..... I can only picture u all your life little brother u went with out just as long as the people around u were taken care of, all the times we went shopping togeather u would be like What do u want Dude lol at the grocery store when u had it,We had so many great cook outs man lol You went all your life with out  but always seemed happy man,I think and i believe this man,it hurts me the most because u had such a raw life man thats what hurts me inside so much,I feel it wasnt fair u never had a nice car, nice clouths, nice house,nice tv,nice shoes,or were ever comfortable in life but man u tought me something YOU WERE STILL HAPPY AND KIND HEARTED TO EVERYONE DEEP DOWN INSIDE IT WASNT WHAT U HAD MAN IT WAS WHAT U COULD GIVE U ALWAYS SHARED MAN,ITS SO HARD FOR ME TO WRITE THIS SEAN BUT I HAVE TO MAN ITS WHAT U WERE THAT I CAN NEVER FORGET I BELIEVE FIRMLY THAT U HAVE TOUGHT ME SO MUCH ABOUT LIFE THAT IVE NEVER BEEN TOUGHT BY ANYONE ELSE AND IVE LEARND ALOT OVER THE LAST YEAR HOW I THOUGHT NOTHING COULD HURT ME I WOULD JUST BLOCK IT OUT..............................WELL U TOUGHT ME IM HUMAN AND I HURT AND MAN DOES IT HURT. I ALSO KNOW THE LAST TWO DAYS HAVE BEEN HARD BUT THEY HAVE ALSO BROUGHT ME A LITTLE JOY TO BESIDE THESE TEARS RIGHT NOW THAT IS THE JOY WE SHARED THE MEMORIES WE WILL FOREVER HOLD IN MY HEART THESE MEMORIES ALL WERE COMMING BACK AND CLEARER TODAY I WOULD ALSO SMILE ALOT THINKING ABOUT THEM ITS BEEN A UP AND DOWN FEW DAYS HERE BUD FOR ME AND I KNOW THAT THESE MEMORIES U GAVE ME ARE GOLDEN BROTHER LIKE DEWAYNES SONG TO U "I WOULDNT TRADE THEM FOR ALL THE GOLD IN THE WORLD"I KNOW I DIDNT ALWAYS TELL U I LOVED U AND HOW PROUD I WAS OF U MAN BUT I DID AND I WAS ,U WERE VERY SPEICAL TO ME SEAN AND SOMETIMES LIFE DOESNT ALWAYS GIVE US THAT CHANCE TO SAY THE THINGS WE WANT TO AND IT HURTS WHEN U CANNT!!!!!! I JUST KNOW A HUGE PEICE OF ME IS MISSING AND WILL FOREVER BE AND I WILL ALWAYS HOLD U CLOSE U HAVE A SPOT IN MY HEART THAT NO ONE COULD EVER TAKE AWAY FROM ME SO TODAY I JUST WANT TO TELL U THANK U FOR BEING U AND LEAVING APART OF U HERE TODAY WITH ME AND EVERYDAY I LOOK TO LIFE AS ITS NOT WHAT U GOT BUT WHAT U CAN GIVE ALWAYS BE KIND HEARTED AND FORGIVE.I miss u more then any words i could ever write and u still live in me and untell we meet again! Hold me a seat as i know u will and know life is only marked in years eturnity is forever and we will be togeather again forever.I LOVE U AND AM VERY PROUD TO SAY WE WERE BROTHERS.
                  PLEASE WATCH OVER CINDY AND THE KIDS AND ALL YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS AS I KNOW U WILL.
                               TELL WE MEET AGAIN LUV YOUR BRO TODD Close

First year without you.  / Dewayne Osmon (Best Friend )

Sean,
Well today is one year since we lost you. It still seems like yesterday when we got the phone call. Still today that phone call haunts me. Never did I think that any of us would have to deal with loseing you. I dont know how to say how much we all miss you. Not even a million words can completely explain how I feel. Your death has changed my whole outlook on life. I think about you everyday and wonder where you are and if you can really see everyone and hope that you can see how much we miss you. I just feel horrible that I never got to tell you how much you meant to me as a friend. I would have known that it would have came to this I would have for sure told you. You probably would have hit me and called me gay and all but that is ok! Not a whole lot has happened since you left. It seems like life has just been dull without you around. I miss you very much. Every day I think about crap that we did and laugh about it. I can still see your face and hear your voice as if you were standing next to me. I dont ever want to forget the sound of your voice and forget all of our good and bad times. Although I know that I never will, I think that is just the fear of it that makes me do this. When the day comes when I get to be wherever you are I know that I will be able to hear your voice and not even question who it is. I just cannot believe that it has been a whole year already. Time sure flies whether you want it to or not. Today we are going to have a frozen pizza with some Mt. Dew for supper. Missy and I always start talking about you when we have pizza. Funny how some things just make you think. It is also funny how some things you just never forget. There are things that I remember with you that are just stupid that have happened and I remember them so clearly. Just things that you said ect. How you walk or whatever. Your memory will be with me forever and there is no way that I will never forget anything. I grasp to every memory that I have with you, Knowing that noone can ever take them away. Well I guess that is about all for now. I wish that you were still here. I am sure that every one else does too. Missy and I are getting our tattoos done for you on Sept. 23rd. Hope that you like them. Love you man, and miss you more and more as our lives go on.
Best friends forever.
Dewayne

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1 year ago  / Melissa Osmon (best friend )
Sean,
It has been oneyear since we lost you. It seems like just yesterday that you where here with all of us. It still seems wierd that you are not here. I miss you so very much and I know every one else does. I remeber are being on the phone with you all day why Cindy and Dewayne where at work. We would sit on the phone for hours and talk about nothing. I miss that. I wish that we all could have spent more time together. After we moved we didn't get to see you that much we where all to far away. I wish we could have been closer to spend more time with you. Its unfair that your gone from us all but they say god takes people cause he needs them well he must have needed you pretty bad. I know we will never know. You where such a great person. You where always there for a shoulder to cry on or just to talk to. No matter what was wrong with you somone else could say there was something wrong with them like a headache and you would never say o well mine hurts worse. You would just listen and be there for them. You so generous eveyrone came before you did no matter what. I miss that about u. Not many people are like that anymore. I am going to get a tattoo in memory of you. Its going to be a chicken. Yeah its sounds funny and your probally laughing but that is a memory that noone can take away from me. You are the only one that still called me chicken that was a nickname you gave me in 8th grade and you made it stick with me. I don't let anyone else call met hat anymore. I know alot of people will think its wierd to get a chicken but then i can always have a story to tell about u when somoene ask what its means. ITs something that I want to get. I miss you u and wll always love you. I know that i will never forget you cause you where such a big peice of my life and everyone elses. I look at your pitucre everyday and want to cry but, then i also know thats not what you would want you would want everyone to smile and remeber all the times we shared with you. So thats what I do. I want to say that we are always here for Cindy and the kids . We and will never let the kids forget there farther. They will always now what type  of guy you where. And i am sure that i am not alone in that there are plenty of people that will keep your memory alive. We  are also there for the rest of your family. We haven't seen them in along time.I talk to Marc once in a while with Cindy but thats about it. I want to say Hi to MOm hope she is doing well and the rest of the family. Its a hard day for everyone thatknew you. You put an imprint on my heart and my memory that will live on forever. I light a candle by your picture at night so that you know it shines for you. I miss you and love you Sean.  Love always your Best Friend Missy {Chicken]
Never Forgotten Close

One year today  / Cindy(beebee) Fowler (Loving Wife )

Sean,
  It has been a year ago today that you left us and I'm still in as much pain and hurt as I was the day that you left.  They say time will heal the pain but the pain for me has not went away at all.  I think about you every single day and night wishin that things were different and you were still here with me and our kids but nothing is ever going to bring you back to us and it just is not fair.  It is not fair that the doctor had to mess up and that God had to take you from us at all, and it makes me angry.  I am angry with God and with the doctor for taking you from us when you should still be here.  It is just too hard to deal with.  Luckily I do have Missy and Dewayne(who are like family to me and the kids), and Marc They are here for me and I know always will be, for a shoulder to cry on or who will just talk when I need to talk they help me to get through every day, and I am so thankful for having them in mine and our kids lives if it weren,t for them I would probably be completely insane right now.  So many things have happened in the past year that you should have been here for and it is not fair that you had to miss out on such as Allyssa's first day of scool, and birthdays and holidays, you should have been here for them all but you couldn't be all due to one stupid doctors mistake and negligence.  I just keep asking myself why, why did this have to happen to us?  We were supposed to grow old together and now that can never happen, it just aint right.  The kids were supposed to have their daddy here with them as they grew up to be here for important days and to help teach them things and now they have been robbed of that, they will never have their daddy here again, to watch them grow up, to watch them graduate from school, to see them get married, and for any other occasions that are special that you should have been here for and it just aint fair or right.  They have been robbed of a big part of their life and that is you.  I have tried to sit and think of all of the good memories that we have built together trying to keep myself from getting so upset and that does not work, I think of them and it makes me cry even worse.  I can still picture you, in the hospital, layin there lifeless and it upsets me SO bad, and I can't get that picture out of my head and it makes things even worse, I cannot handle seeing you laying there like that, it makes me break down.  Why can't this be just a big bad dream and I wake up and your here, thats all I want is for you to just be here.  I want to wake up and have you here with me again.  I have dreams that you are layin there in bed with me and I wake up and you are not here with and it makes me SO upset.  I just wish every day that you were still here.  We had seven wonderful years together and that just was not enough but I am thankful for the years that we luckily had together.  There was just SO many things that I wanted to tell you, SO many things that I wanted to do with you and now I will not ever be able to tell you these things or do these things with you and it just aint fair.  I wish SO bad that I could turn back the hands of time and make things different and bring you back but I can't and it makes me SO sad to know that I can't.  Life is not the same without you in it and it will never be the same again.  I want to make things different and I just cant, the only thing that I have left now are the memories that we have made together and our children and all that I can keep thinking is that eventually, one day, we will be able to meet back up together and will be able to continue our lives together, I cannot wait till  that day that we will be able to be together again, I cannot be fully happy again until that day happens and I will be able to see you again.  Well I guess I had better stop writing since this has got me crying SO hard now that I can barely see what I am typing, just please know that I am ALWAYS going to love you, for now and for forever, I ALWAYS have loved you SO much and I Always will, you are truly the love of my life FOR ALWAYS and FOREVER honey.
                                  Love ALWAYS and FOREVER,
                                       Cindy, your beebee

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Rest in Peace and be a guardian angel for your family  / Heather Samuelson (Friend)
It's still hard to believe you have been gone for a year. Todd and Tammy moved in with us and they still miss you very much. You are in there thoughts every day. This has been a hard year for Todd. He needs your love and guidance. He is depressed and needs your fun loving spirit in his life. I know you hear all of his prayers, so I'm asking you to send him all your love and help him heal.  I know he still blames himself in a lot of ways and he needs to know it was not his fault.  After you left, he shut down emotionally, but he is making every effort to make peace with you being gone.  I know you can hear my wishes, so please give him your guidance to help him find joy in life again.  I can' t even imagine losing a sister or brother but he has dealt with it much better than I ever could.  You were always a good brother to him and he needs you still.
I can only say I am so sorry to Judy,Marc, Tim,Rick,Cindy, Allysa, Johnny, and Joshua.  I send you all God's love and blessings.  May all your lives find happiness and joy again.  Sean will forever be remembered in all of our hearts.
We love you all, Heather, Pat, and Joshua Close

It's been rough  / MARC Rousseau (brother)
well lil brother,it's been a year tomorrowand i'm still seeing you on the streets now and then.could of sworn i heard ya talking just last week.i know we all miss ya and the pain WILL NEVERgo away.every time u turn your cd on at the shop i know your letting me know your around.the shop thats named in your memory aint doing to bad.EVERYBODY knows you named it.your picture hangs right inside.the first thing anybody see's.i've inked 2 of your bro's and cindy.i did my best and hope you diggem.i'm sure you do since you loved all my ink.eveybody went right back to not callinfor months on end,cept i talk to cindy and the kids a couple times amonth atleast.makes me feel good to hear those lil ones scream my name.i love and miss ya tons.i know your proud as hell to see your lil girl in school.she's growing fast.the boy's are getting bigger and bigger every time i see them.with all the bullshit this world throws at me i just keep on going.watching my friends and family going away. your mother is still beeing her old crabby self,tim never calls,dont ever hear from ricky,and todd i talked to yesterday.and with me beeing busier than ever i don,t have a whole lot of time.i miss them all and wish we were all closer.
 watch over us all as i'm sure you do.tell your ol man we miss him and love him just as much as we did when he was taken away.let ol man dave ,jack,and leroy know we miss them more than ever.hope you guye aren't causeing to much trouble.and to please help me with the decisions i have yet to make and to help me through theese rough times.i miss you all and can't wait to see you's on the other side.i love you all.and i will never forget yous.MEMORIES FOREVER BABY...................................I LOVE YOU LIL BRO.............. Close

Got u Neice check her out shes Sweet lol pictures added in photos  / Todd R. (Brother)
Hey Sean,
         Im just sitting here jamming and reading threw the site like always i see Tiffany came by that was awfull nice of her Yes u got a neice Hailee Sue i remember clearly the nite befor u passed to Heaven u got to see her on line Remember how excited i was u came in and said man shes Beutiful when u seen her on cam ill never forget that it made me feel realy good Thanks bro,Im glad u got to see my little girl I miss her so much man its like God is punshing me for some reason or another I try my best to see her and cannt it sucks kinda like u get attached to someone and ripped away like u and i kinda but u know and i know but enough about that Im blessed just knowing shes safe and happy thats all that counts to me.So i deceided to go out and get a Puppy =) lol i can love shes so sweet to dude i know u would love her man I named her Elly May "AKA" Miss May lol shes a old english bulldog shes 2 months old today 8 weeks smart as a whisstle too dude. Sometimes lol she has her moments but a very kick ass pup she loves rides in the Vette hangs out the window its cute as fuck man
HERES A PIC I TOOK JUST FOR U LOL they wonnt take ill add them to your photo album


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here is a pic of the vette too i know u like this man

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if they come threw well see well its 10.00pm and same shit new day man nothing changed bro i just wish u were here man id give it all up to have u here again u know i would little bro ill stop back in tomorrow love u lil brother
                                                     Todd Close

Missing you more then words can explain!  / Dewayne &. Missy Osmon (Best Freinds )

Sean,

Hey there best friend! Just sitting here thinking about memories we have of u. Its so nice to think about memories we had shared when you where here. we wish we would have had more times To make more memories with you
 But the ones we do have with you will live in ou hearts forever!
When cindy and the kids come to visit us in Munising it just seems wierd with out you around. But we always sit around
talk and laught about the crazy stuff we use to do. WE have so many memories about going to the Soo and visiting you, Cindy & the kids. I remeber we would take off to the Casino your favorites spot besides lotto tickets and someho u would always find money in machines you seem to always win!! Then we would tell you that we had to go cause we need to get back to our jobs and that we have been up there for already 2 nights and you would pull your famous saying out of your ass."Come on you know you want to just stay one more night you know you want to! You know that you don't want to leave us right now!!" and no matter how many times we would tell you no we couldn't we always gave into you and called to stay one more night with you. Don't know how you could always talk us into it but some how you had that special thing about you that would make us give in. We will never forget that about you that.you where so presasive about that us not leaving. WE always got lucky that we never got fired and they belived us at our jobs. Anyways there are nights that we lay awake and bed and just talk about U with the candle we light right next to your picture. And we will tell you this which you probally already know cause you watching down on all your family and friends and expecially your wife and kids. I remeber having a talk with you before you passed away when you first found out you had your tumor and you asked me that if anything happened to you that I would make sure Cinday and the kids are always okay and keep a watch on them. And I take that very seriously Missy talks to her almost 24/7 on the phone so we know that she is alright and things for her go good. She knows that if she needs anything she can always count on us and we will try to help her out the best we can. We miss you so much. The day we recived that phone call just haunts in our heads that we just wish we could have woke up and it would have been a bad night mare. I know we will never know what Todd and Cindy feel like cause they where thre but the phone call for us was the worst day of our life. We wish that we could  have talked to yone more time before you left us if we knew it was going to happen we would have talked to you the night before and just laugh about all the times we had together like we use to do.But now we know not to take life for granted and to always tell the people that mean the most to you that you love them because you never when you your time will come.
WE love you and miss you so much and we leave it at that.
Never forgotten in our hearts or our minds. 
LOve you always your best friends
Dewayne and Missy

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Just isnt the same lil bro  / Todd R. (Bro)
Kickin back here thinkin bout the past and all the great memories we shared lil bro,It just still feels like a bad dream i think im going to wake up and see you again and Say hey B want to go with me today i got a big job, then we go load the truck head out to 7-eleven fill our big gulps and kick it in the truck on the way to the job about everything and nothing lol like we used to do.Then get there and then work a couple hours then i can hear u saying lets go get a Dew and some pizza lol like u knew my weakness lol and off we went to luch still remember all the times we drove halfway across town just to get the New Englands lunch speical Large Pizza 5.99 LOL half peperoni half Sausage lol man we Fucked it up lol Then i can hear u saying im gonna run to the store next door real quick can u front me 10.00 out my check lol for them good old lottery tickets u loved so much.I remember the time u got them four 5 dollar tickets and nothing then i went and got 2 nuttin then u went back for 2 more nuttin lol then i got 4 and 5 bucks lol then we said man theres got to be a big one u went for 2 more then me lol we lost our asses bro that day lol Ill never forget that man,You were funny with them bro lol got me hooked lol on that shit basturd lol im playing them now lol
I just think about shit like that alot and how id give it all up just to get u back man trade everything and some to see u again bro,Ive never really hurt like i do now the day u left really made me realize im not as strong as i thought i was the pain is as strong today as it was 10 months ago the morning i woke up to have lost u i remember the nite befor so clearly like it was last nite sitting in the living room kickin it had i known i would have talked all nite long last words that i believe u heard from me  was nite bro see u in the morning,I just wish eveytime i look into the sky and see a star that i see u again someday it wasnt long enough bro time is fuckin funny shit man life its self is i just hate the fact that i couldnt save u that morning lil bro it haunts me man and i feel like i let u down man and it hurts cause u always looked up to me bro i feel like i failed u man.Well i know u know id give my life to get yours back and i would in a snap if i could but God donnt work that way He had plans for u much more then we had he must of and ill never know and as a human i find myself questioning his purpose alot and i know its wrong You are in a place i only can imagin everything is perfect now for u life is nothing when we think of forever froever is a long time life is just a blink compared to it thats why i know when i do see u again it will be forever so thats what helps me get by knowing soon enough well be togeather again lil brother,i wear your necklace everyday and always every where i go u are with me i see the tattoo reminds me of u i see a star there u are i walk in my living room your there i see the moon and i talk to u and its like u never left isnt a day that passes i donnt think of u 20 times thats what love is about and love we did share as brothers and i thank god every nite for the time he gave me with you enogh tho it wasnt long enough it still will live on in me forever and thats what counts,Well Big B im going to lay down and when i get up ill be one more day closer to seeing u again. =)
                Untell we meet again little brother Know U will Live on Forever in My heart and in my soul Love your proud to be Brother Todd
                                                       Nite Lil Brother Love u Man Close

HAPPY FATHERS DAY SEAN!!!! WE LOVE AND MISS U LIL BROTHER  / TODD R. (BROTHER)
SEAN HAPPY FATHERS DAY LIL BROTHER ITS BEEN 9 MOTHS AND AND THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT THEM 9 MONTHS IS IM 9 MONTHS CLOSER TO SEEING U AGAIN IT HAS BEEN VERY HARD 9 MONTHS AND IM SURE IT WONNT GET ANY EASYER I REALLY MISS U AS MUCH TODAY AS I DID THE DAY U LEFT US,THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME GOING IS KNOWING I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN SOMEDAY,I GOT A DOG TAG WITH YOUR PICTURE ON IT AND WEAR IT EVERY DAY IT IS REALLY COOL AS U KNOW IM SURE =) EVERYONE SEES IT AND IS LIKE WHATS THAT AND LOOK AND GO MAN THATS SWEET LOL IT IS SWEET BRO WELL I JUST WANTED TO STOP IN AND WISH U A HAPPY FATHERS DAY AND KNOW U ARE IN MY HEART AND THOUGHTS ALL THE TIME LIL BRO THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE U KNOW WHO LOVS YA BABY BOY =) 25 YEARS WITH U AND THEY WERE A GOOD 25 TOO U AND I HAD THAT BOND WE THAT WILL NEVER BE BROKEN WHEN U GROW WITH SOMEONE FOR 25 YEARS ITS HARDER ON THEM THEN ANYONE OR ANYTHING TO LOSE WE SO KNOW LIL BRO THE PAIN IS NEVER GOING TO BE GONE TELL WE MEET AGAIN AND WE WILL LOVE U MAN
                                   HAPPY FATHERS DAY SEAN,LOVE TODD Close

our best friend 9 months  / Dewayne &. Missy Osmon (Best friends Forever )
Sean,

Hey there best friend. Its has been 9 months today.It doesn't seem like it has been that long. Its still seems like yesterday that we where talking on the phone to you. And making plans for all of us to get together. Then the horrible phone call came and said that you where gone. It was the worst day of our lives to here that such a great guy was gone and was taken at so young of age when he had so much more living to do. Things will never be the same with out you on this planet. You where always there for anyone to everybody if they needed you. You would give the shirt off your back for anyone. The last 9 months have taken so much time to get use to. We seen Cindy and the kids a few weeks ago and it seemed so weird without you there with all of us but we had alot of talks about all the good times. Our life will be forever changed with out you in it. Dewayne has been takening this really hard still his life has forever been changed with out his best friend there to guide him along the way and to be there for him when he just needed a good laugh or just somoene who he could trust and talk to and never be judged by. My life has forever changed also you where the only guy that I considered my best friend besides Dewayne just like Cindy will always be your best friend. WE just wish we could talk to you once more to tell you how much we cared and loved you and that we would have always done anything you needed. Don't worry to much about Cindy and the kids Dewayne remembers that you asked him" if anything ever happens to me will you watch over my family and make sure they are okay" and Dewayne promised you he would. What ever Cindy or those kids need we will be right here to help them out and make sure they have everything and anything they need.  We will make sure your kids know many stories about how great there daddy was and how much he loved them and would have gave them and Cindy the world and that he did when he was around. .When we were in Michigan we buried some of your ashes on your dads grave. We know that you are happy there because thats what you wanted. THats all we want is for you to Rest In Peace and to watch over all your loved ones. Once again we love you and miss you more than words can explain and more than the world. Feel free to drop in and visit us when ever you want we would really appreciate it and of course drop by your familys. We just wanted to drop a line to you and tell you its been a long 9 months with out you in our lives. We promise that we will never forget you and for the rest of our lifes we promise to keep your memory alive..We are going to soon get tattoo in memory of you. I am going to get a chicken "So when people ask why I got a chicken on me I can tell them because of a great best friend I had that passed away and he had always called me that nickname"somewhere haven't decided where yet and Dewayne is going to get a cross with a ribbon with your name and the year you where born and the year you passed. These tattoos will mean the world to us. I always where a necklace that says " In loving memory of Sean Fowler" and your wife does also. Dewayne has  key chain that says the same thing and me and her also have a pictuer frame that i made to hold your pictuire that says in loving memory of Sean. So you will never be forgotten in me and Dewaynes heart you will always hold a special place in our hearts. THank you for letting us get to know you and leting us have the privlage of being your best friend. We better end this becaue i am ready to break down and cry missing you so much. We love you Sean and we miss you so very much. Love you always and forever your best friends in the world. 
Dewayne and Missy Close

It doesnt seem like its ever gonna get better  / Cindy(beebee) Fowler (Loving Wife )

Sean,   Well our three year wedding anniversary just passed us up this last Saturday on the third.  It was SO hard on me not being able to celebrate it with you.  It seems like I've been doing nothing but crying since that day, I really wish you were still here with us.  Special days to me like that just really get to me hard.  I feel like I cannot stop crying, it aint fair, we should have been able to celebrate our third anniversary I should not have been sitting here crying on that day, I just still cannot understand why in the hell god had to take you from me and the kids, why that stupid doctor had toscrew up SO bad so that we would never be able to see you again it just is not fair.  There were still SO many things that I wanted to be able to tell you and do with you and now it will never happen, I feel like I just cannot handle it, I feel like my life just fell apart the day that you left me.  Yes, I still have the kids and thats great but our family is just not the same now that you are not in it.  I couldn't fall asleep last night or the last because every time that I closed my eyes all that I could see was you laying on that table at that hospital dead that horrible day, it seemed like I was right there and that it was happening to me over again, I haven't slept much for two nights because of it and it just aint right, I wish that I would have just been seeing you standing there alive rather than seeing that again, it was SO horrible that I cant even talk about it.  There have been nights that I dream that you are sleeping next to me and then I wake up and you are not there and I get SO damn sad.  Why did this have to happen to us? Why did god have to break up our happy family? it just aint fair and I could never in a million years forgive him for that I dont care he should have never took you, you were not ready to go, not yet.  I still remember the night before you passed away taking me to the store because I needed new shoes for work even though you needed some too you insisted on getting mine instead cause you didnt want my feet to hurt you didnt even worry about yourself and how bad yours were and that was SO sweet but thats just the way that you were you put me and the kids before yourself ALWAYS.  You were the best husband and father that there ever was and I could not ever thank you enough for choosing me to be your wife, and for choosing to spend the rest of your life with me.  I just wish that we could have been able to spend a hell of a lot more years together insted of just seven because that just wasn't enough for me, we should've been able to grow old together.  I wish every day that I would wake up and this all would be just a bad dream and that you were still here with me.  I would do anything to get you back, I would go as far as giving up my life to get yours back.  Why does rotten shit have to happen to us like this? I dont understand and I never will.  First you get the tumor headaches and seizures and I figuired well we will deal with it we can get through anything as long as we have eachother and we made it through them every day that it happened and I was ALWAYS by your side because like our vows said "for better or worse" and thats just what I intended on doing was sticking by your side for better or worse, because thats is just what you do when you love somebody.  Then came the day that we found out that there is a possibility of me having cancer and you stuck by my side just the same, I know I never went to the follow up and I probably should to see if it is malignant but it is just so hard to do without you going there with me Everything in life is just so much harder to do without you with me,  I know that it is hard for your brothers to handle losing you but I dont think any of them really understand exactly how hard it is for me to have lost you, to lose your spouse is the hardest thing in the world to happen to somebody and my life just seems so empty now without you in it, and I dont feel like I can even talk to your family about it and that is SO hard for me.  I just dont feel like I can talk to them about it.  Johnny has been asking me lately why you had to die when you hit your head on the table  He remembers you falling that horrible morning and hitting your head on the table and thinks that that is how you died.  It is SO  hard for me to try to explain to him that that is not the reason that you died.  And then of course theres Allyssa asking me why the doctor had to make a bad mistake and make you die?? Do you know how hard it is for me to hear the kids say those things? Its SO hard for me and I am the one that has to explain it to them I shouldnt have to be explaining that to our kids because you should still be there.  IT just aint fricken fair.  I could just scream.  I am going in to my third week of school nthis Monday.  I am trying to get right now my associates degree in criminal justice.  So far it isn't that bad but I really wish that you were here to help me study like you used to do, it helped me so much.  I just figuire that why not change my career? I might as well since none of the nursing skills that I have learned and known for thirteen years really helped me out the day that you passed away.  I couldn't even remember how to do CPR, so because of that I am just giving up the whole nursing thing and changing my career totally.  Why should I even stay in the nursing when something like that happens and I just freeze up.  I guess it is totally different when it happens to somebody that you love rather than just a patient but I guess It is just time for a change.  Since you are now gone from me I may as well start going into a field where I will be able to protect me and our kids if something bad ever happens.  I just wish you were still to protect us but it is all up to me now, so Im hoping that this schooling will help me out.  Well I took the kiddies camping for the first time last weekend and they absolutely loved it ( that is what I ended up doing on our anniversary to try to help keep my mind off of it a little bit anyways)  The first night was So funny cause Llyssa didnt want to be zipped up in the tent at all she was so scared of it and when I said whats wrong there are alot of people camping out here she had to answer by saying"yea but theyve all got rvs and campers and they got doors" it was so funny and so cute I wish you would have been there especially to hear her say that you would have laughed your butt off.  I miss going out camping with you we had so much fun doing that.  I am supposed to take them on the 30th of June until the 3rd of July with my parents again I guess, I will probably go since it will kind of help me keep my mind off of things.  Well I guess IM gonna go for now since this is really long and every thing I think of to write makes me cry even harder and harder but please know and remember ALWAYS how VERY much I love you I ALWAYS have and I ALWAYS will no matter what please know that and remember it FOREVER my baby, I miss you SO much honey,     Love ALWAYS and FOREVER, your loving wife FOREVER, Cindy (beebee)

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Missing you bad  / Cindy(beebee) Fowler (Loving Wife )
Sean,  Well we just got back from seeing Missy and Dewayne over in Munising this weekend.  It was so hard going over there and seeing everybody without you there with us.  It didnt seem right being over there without you there. Me, Missy, and Dewayne brought the kids up to the cemetary today so that we could visit your dads grave and put some of you up there with him I know that you would have really wanted that so that is what I decided to do.  It was so hard having to do that though doing this actually made the reality hit me that you are really never coming back to us and it upsets me SO bad.  It is just not fair that you will never be coming back to me and our kids and all over the carelessness of that stupid doctor.  I should have never had to put you up with your dad at least not until we got really old.  It just aint right.  In about a month we are going to go back up to the grave and put some really nice flowers up there to make it look good I felt bad because I didnt have any to put up there today but I didnt have any extra money to buy them so that will be what I do in about a month.I know that you wanted to be able to do that so I am going to do it for you.  I just wish SO bad that youcould have been over there with us this weekend.  I stopped at picklemans just like we always used to do and bought a dollar scratcher just because thats what you always used to do and like usual it was a loser!!! But I had to do it just because that was what you ALWAYS did!!!  I know you were watching over me and the kids during the trip because everything went okay driving there and back and I thank you for watching over us.  I start school tommarrow for criminal justice I got accepted into the college and thought that I needed a change, I am really nervous about that I just hope that I do well it sucks bad that you wont be here to help me study like you used to Everything just sucks without you here baby, I would do anything in the world to get you back, I really wish that I would have been the one that was taken instead of you you deserve to still be alive because you are such a great man.  I am learning so much that I never knew and would have never had to worry about if you were here like being messed over and screwed around.  I cant trust anybody anymore and I never will except for the exception of a few people and that really sucks  I know if you were still here I woudnt be getting messed with I just need to have you here SO bad I hate having you gone baby.  I am glad that I was able to put some of you with your dad today I know you would have liked that baby and now I will also be able to visit you whenever I go up to munising and your friends there will be able to visit you too.  Well I guess I better go for now since I need to get up extremely early for work in the morning please watch over me when I am driving around and I will write more soon.  I will love you my baby ALWAYS and FOREVER,                                                                
                 Love your loving wife,                                 
                        Cindy (beebee)                                   
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YOU WERE OBVIOUSLY A  / KIM WALLACE (PASSERBY(FRIEND))
YOU WERE OBVUOUSLY A GREAT GUY MATTHEW SEAN. A VERY OUTGOING PERSON I CAN TELL FROM YOUR SITE. GOD BLESS YOU AND CONTINUE TO BLESS YOUR LOVED ONES THEY LOVED YOU DEARLY THAT IS IBVIOUS. I LOST MY BEST FRIEND 10 YEARS AGO AND IT STILL HURTS BUT TIME DOES HELP EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT. GOD BLESS YOU AND PEACE ALWAYS SURROUND THE ONES YOU LOVE. r.i.p. MATTHEW-SEAN. YOUR FRIEND IN CHRIST KIM. Close